The Chicken And The Egg....

Everyone has heard the question and argument about which came first ...the chicken or the egg....right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcMQVCSdk-M   <- I love this little bird :-)

Okay....seriously, I really did have an epiphany a few weeks back but, I've been too busy to post it until now ....You lucky chickens :-)

Alan and I took a Concealed Handgun License course / test a few weeks back. A few days later we were driving to the airport so he could drop me off. I was Las Vegas bound and then it happened.
Epiphany!

During the CHL class it was discussed in length why a licensed gun holder had to hide their gun out of sight of the public when in public. Our instructor (a retired officer) was great at explaining it to the yappers in the class who apparently didn't have a real life and no where to go or anything to do on a Saturday afternoon.....yapp yapp yapp.
The instructor said there are a variety of reasons people are leery of guns mostly because they are uneducated. Even police officers are leery of gun carriers but, for one of two reasons 1. They are on a power trip and believe nobody outside of law enforcement should carry or 2. The SANE reason...they are at war with the bad guys and you don't want to be confused as one. Bottom line a gun in plain site is asking for trouble.
Remember it was an instructor / retired police officer saying this.......I tend to believe him.

As the instructor went on to say, the real reason to carry a concealed handgun is to protect you and your loved ones LIFE in these ever worsening times of unsafety and lack of sufficient man power in law enforcement. As cities and government continue to cut budgets for officers. The thugs and the really bad guys are recognizing this and taking to the streets in force. Truth is the police officers are out numbered more than ever and they can not get to you in time to save you or your loved one if your lives are in danger.
That is not an exaggeration but a fact.

According to the most recent posted study by the Bill Blackwood LEMIT Org. conducted with Sam Houston State University....Response time’s analysis using every major city in the great state of Texas, from Brownsville to Abilene a total of 51 City Police and County Offices reporting the following statistic were compromised in 2006.

Response time table:

 Based on Crime Rate   <3000     3-4000   4-5000    5-7000    7-8000    >8000
Urgent calls       Minutes =8.90          6.27        5.15         5.34         6.16          8.33
Emergency calls               11.09         8.12       10.68       9.86       11.22         14.15
General Priority calls         21.38        16.80      15.92      18.49      10.00         21.45

In Houston, TX. January 2011 alone over 9,000 Major Crimes were committed. This excluded simple theft, car burglaries, prostitution and most domestic calls among other petty crimes the city chose not to add into the statistics because it would be enormous.

It's not just my state.
According to the Fraternal Order of Police, Nashville TN.... last year, more than 30,000 callers waited more than an hour — close to half of those were Code 2 calls that were deemed "urgent."

Altogether, more than 9,000 folks waited more than two hours — 2,200 of them were "urgent."

And get this: 3,500 people had to wait more than three hours to talk to an officer.
*Referenced from:  Fraternal Order of Peace News Item dated 10/14/2010 on the website: http://www.fop.net/

Oh, and by the way...the bad guys carry guns too without abiding by the laws  in fact they like to show them off while their robbing, raping, stealing, murdering those you love. If you'd like to see pictures of them doing so feel free to watch your local news station or better yet go online and see Houston, TX police departments most wanted for crimes committed with a deadly weapon. http://www.houstontx.gov/police/cash_for_crooks.htm
Try searching your own city.

As I sat in the CHL class listening to the instructor speak after he showed us his concealed handgun that he always carries in his left hand pant pocket....wow, I had no idea until he told us. I began to visualize the outline of the gun in his pocket as he moved. Yes, I occasionally felt odd staring at his crotch area but, I
found myself mystified...I had to see it.

There it was plain as day. Epiphany!

Guns don't kill people or offend people anymore than G-string panties do.....Yes, I said it...Think about it.

There are those women who purposely wear G-strings in plain view. Women who do not participate in this practice immediately think the woman is uncouth to say the least they make us feel like a crime is being committed....right?.... Many of the women I know who have witnessed this often ask WHY? Men immediately think.....there's trouble. I wouldn't take her home to mom BUT waiving that G-string about like that means one thing.....You're a crack head! LOL..Seriously, you get the point.. Trouble!

Disclaimer**Please don't get offended if you unknowingly did the G-string show ladies. Sometimes it just happens especially at 2am...you know what I'm saying....Hey!

Now, I and many women have worn G-strings. Actually some of us women love our lingerie...holla!
However, I wouldn't purposely hang it out for the world to see...honest.
I abide by the rules of underwear!
Men have actually evolved and become some what of a panty expert. Smart women know this....shh! Once men achieve this knowledge and experte' they enjoy watching the tail end of the birds walking by and smile when ...there it is...G-string! Same exact underwear as the first woman but, well played and so much more effective at winning the battle. Lady Power!

Follow me......Concealed Handguns and G-strings have a true purpose this day and age. I understand it is uncouth to publicly display my weapon. I understand if I did... it would cause those around me to be uncomfortable and I would be breaking the law(s) panty code or CHL. It would also give the bad guys the upper hand.

However....as long as my weapon is concealed out of plain view, then only the experts will know I am ready to go. I am in control of the situation.

Guess what? Criminals are NOT experts....that are why they get caught. Every last one of them eventually get caught or get killed.

So, what? ......What happened to the chicken or the egg?

I said I had an epiphany....I never ever said I was a freak'n genius!!!!!!!

When I was a kid I was a tom boy with a little princess hidden inside. Like most people I learned some of lifes ways from my parents, grandparents and friends. Each in their own way guided me while I grew to stand on my own. Either by using what I learned from them sharing what they learned through their experiences or by them holding my hand when I needed them.

While I will always value my loved ones and friends for their time, patience and the back bone basics of who I am. I have to acknowledge that many of my biggest teachings in life have come completely from "Left field". The unexpected crisis. The screaching halt of what is reality and what tomorrow holds in comparison to what it was just moments before....."The Curve Ball".

I was the oldest and yes while I was the cutest I was not a boy. So, I played sports and I was very competitive. My dad coached my softball team and we did well. Softball was the answer from "the community" when us girls wanted to join Little League and play officially along side the boys in League play just as we did on the field every weekend and all summer long. Seems "the community" didn't want us girls to out do the boys at a public venue. Heavens no!

My dad also coached the boys team. So, I gained a lot of knowledge from both worlds. My dad's love was pitching. He dauntidly struggled to teach me different pitches.The slider, the fast ball, the knuckle ball and then there was "The Curveball". I'll be the first to say I wasn't a pitcher. I've always been more of a defensive player so, catcher it was. I actually held some records in the area for a short lived nano second. I was always picked first in school yard games even when the boys were the captains. So, not being a pitcher wasn't a bad thing at least not for me but, I do remember some of the basics it taught me......

I remember the rules and the holds of some of the pitches still. "The Curveball" is the most elusive pitch and the most dangerous to pitchers.There can be lot's of damage and injury when the pitcher is not properly developed into throwing a curve. Most teams and even schools ban "The Curveball" these days due to the complexity of the pitch and it's demand on the human body to produce it well enough to do it justice.

I could go on and on about this stuff but, who has the time when life is happening now! So, let's break it down and tweek it a bit.....hope you follow along.....and I'll see you at homeplate!

"The Curveball" is thrown with a characteristic grip and hand movement that imparts forward spin causing it to dive in a downward as it approaches the plate. Its close relatives are the slider and the slurve. The "curve" of the ball varies from pitcher to pitcher..... (no one else out there like you so, while there are similiar experiences they can share only YOU can choose your destiny)

"The Curveball" life throws at you is actually a character builder and an opportunity to develop you into who you really are ( you just don't know it)....you could just slide through it or develop your own way.....again, only you have the power to make your destiny no matter what others do or say.

"The Curveball" is gripped much like a cup or drinking glass is held. ( is your cup half empty or half full ? )  The pitcher places the middle finger on and parallel to one of the long seams (utilizes what he/she has learned from others life experiences and your own) and the thumb just behind the seam on the opposite side of the ball such that if looking from the top down, the hand should form a "C shape" with the horseshoe pointing in towards the palm following the contour of the thumb. The index finger is placed alongside the middle finger, and the other two extraneous fingers are folded in towards the palm with the knuckle of the ring finger touching the leather. ( Did you get all that ? .....that's right...it's confusing as hell until you do). Occasionally, some pitchers will flare out these two fingers straight and away from the ball to keep them clear of the throwing motion, ( Actually I think "the Curveball" pre-empted the invention of "the Bird" which is a ONE finger gesture....lol)." The Curveball" and slider share nearly identical grips and throwing motion. ( You can buck up and face it or do what the weak do and slide through it hoping to be less scaved by it......sometimes we just aren't ready. Be warned though...YOU CAN'T hide from it forever).

The delivery of "The Curveball" is entirely different from that of most other pitches. ( It's unpredicatable when it happens).The pitcher at the top of the throwing arc will snap the arm and wrist in a downward motion. The ball first leaves contact with the thumb and tumbles over the index finger thus imparting the forward or "top-spin" characteristic of a curveball. ( You usually do sense something is going to change BUT brush it off  because everything else is still familiar...or is it? STRRR-IKE ! )The result is the exact opposite pitch of the ordinary fast ball's backspin. The direction of the flight path with forward-spin, with the slant of rotation perpendicular to the intended path much like a reel type mower or a bowling ball. (It will definetly feel like you were hit with a bowling ball and there was no way you knew it was coming....OUCH!)
The amount of break on the ball depends on how hard the pitcher can snap the throw off, or how much forward spin can be put on the ball. The harder the snap, the more the pitch will break. (Just when you feel like you are broken is when your true charachter will begin to develop)."The Curveball" primarily breaks downward, BUT can also break toward the pitcher's off hand to varying degrees. ( If you consider all options and take the positive angle YOU can use it to grow into a better person). From a hitter's perspective, the curve ball will start in one location, usually high or at the top of the strike zone, and then dive rapidly as it approaches the plate. The most effective curve balls will start breaking at the height of the arc of the ball flight, and continue to break more and more rapidly as they approach and cross through the strike zone. ( If you choose to face this head on and truely listen and see with open eyes you CAN and will make it through this, perhaps even a better person).

Real or Illusion?
There has been debate on whether a curve ball actually curves or is just an illusion. In 1949, Ralph B. Lightfoot, an aeronautical engineer used wind tunnel tests to prove that a curve ball does in fact actually curve. On whether a curve ball is caused by an illusion, Hall of Famer pitcher Dizzy Dean has been quoted in a number of variations on this basic premise: "Stand behind a tree 60 feet away, and I'll whomp you with an optical illusion!" (This shit is really happening....so, no matter how hard you try to run, hide or avoid it...guess what ? ....it won't be over until you face it head on.)

History
Baseball lore has it that " The Curveball" was invented in the early 1870s by Fred Goldsmith or Candy Cummings (it is debatable). An early demonstration of the "skewball" or curveball occurred at the Capitoline Grounds in Brooklyn in August, 1870 by Fred Goldsmith. In 1869, a reporter for the New York Clipper described Phonnery Martin as an "extremely hard pitcher to hit for the ball never comes in a straight line‚ but in a tantalizing curve." If the observation is true, this would pre-date Cummings and Goldsmith. In the past, major league pitchers Bob Feller, Virgil Trucks, Herb Score, Camilo Pascual and Sandy Koufax were regarded as having outstanding curveballs. Other notable curveball pitchers since 1900 are/were Barry Zito, Adam Wainwright, Sal Maglie, Dwight Gooden, Nolan Ryan, David Wells, Darryl Kile, Matt Morris, Orel Hershiser, Aaron Sele, Tommy Bridges, Bert Blyleven, Steve Carlton, and Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown.

Bottom line is this my friends.....

Baseball is the game of God's, and Boy does he know how to throw "The Curveball" at ya!                      

Thank God ....he also gave us the ability to Play the Game! So, Batter UP! .....by DLC


***Wikipedia definition partially used.

Dear Teenage Self,

      I have been thinking about you lately. I wish I could've told you how wonderful life will be one day when you grow up. Sure you will go threw some rough patches but, you will be a better person in the end......and yes, you will be happy.

    I saw some friends of yours the other day online. "Online" what the heck is that? It would take too long to explain it but, it is a pretty neat example of what your generation will do. As I was saying, your friends have grown up too. Oh, and you won't believe who is a Student Body Counselor! I bet she never would've dreamed it herself 30 years ago....I'm happy for her. She really had a rough start and managed to make the best of it. Life is amazing!

    Many of us got together for our 20 year class reunion a few years back. I know ...I know.... your thinking 20 years! I can't wait to get out of here now! Why would I ever go back to some cheesy reunion!  Please... listen to me for a while though. Our 20 year reunion...it actually was pretty great! Your dearest friends showed up, it was like time had stopped and you were never apart at all.  You were just as close to some of them as you ever were. You also realized how wonderful it was to have shared some of your childhood with them and others who along the way were distant as teenagers but, guess what...? Turns out they missed you too. Seeing them again made you realize even more how blessed you are.

  You even witnessed some amazing things happen while you were there.  People who had made really dumb choices back then managed to turn their lives around. Oh, and you were one of them .... so, don't be so rough on yourself. It really does get better.

   I'm not saying you should make stupid choices....that's right...I said "choices". You know right from wrong ... you know what you "should" do. You won't always choose the right path but, trust me...nobody does. Quite honestly, the ones who seem to do the "right" thing all the time actually miss out on some of the really good stuff!
 
  You get to a point where you REALLY choose the hardest path for a long time.....but, like most things in life...if you don't give up and you listen to that little voice inside, you will be amazed at what you become. Even the "mistakes" turn out to be beautiful miracles of life.....because YOU have the uncanny ability to make the best of it.

  Don't listen to those that say you are a bad person and making bad "mistakes". Turns out listening to "those" people are the biggest "mistakes" ever. Remember this....age doesn't always make someone right or worthy of your trust for that matter...also, just because they are older or a person of authority doesn't mean they know what the truth is.

  You don't become an alcoholic, a druggie, a dope head. You don't become some illicit worthless being. You aren't those things now and never will be. "Those" people are judging you on their ideas of who they think  you are or what your family members are doing. Don't listen to them. You are a great kid!

 That Vice Principal who in your freshman year tells you how wonderful you were ... then in your junior year calls you into the office and says," You are a druggie and a whore like your mother. I bet you don't remember even where you slept last night". You have my permission to think about kicking him in his juevos....but, he's not worth it. So, don't do it. He has NO CLUE that you were actually sleeping on the roof top of the elementary school across from your house, in the freezing cold,  in the air condition storage room because your parents were fighting all night long and you just wanted to sleep somewhere you felt safe, so you could go to school the next day and be a "normal" kid.

   Just remember he is wrong about you.
   You are not your mother. He has absolutely know idea who your mother really is either.
   You are a great kid!

  I don't want to tell you too much....that might change things drastically and spoil it all. Just know this....be nice to others....even the ones who aren't the "cool" kids. You are more like them then you realize.

  There's going to be a day in the cafeteria where you start a food fight.....see, I do know you. Try your best not to hit the little "fat" girl. I know....your a good kid and wouldn't pick on someone because they were fat...but, she doesn't know that. Turns out even though you think she's one of the "cool" kids she really is taking this teenage stuff pretty hard. If it turns out you can't help it and do it anyway it's okay, you'll have an opportunity one day to say your sorry...so, make sure you do....you actually change her life a little because of it.

  Also, the really skinny guy who hangs out with the really big guy .... you know....the ones that stick together because they don't "fit" in. Continue to be nice to them no matter what anyone else says about it.....you have a lot in common with them too.

 Oh, and if you can...spend some more time with PauPau and Dee Dee. They don't live forever...none of us do. Your parents will work things out for themselves with or without you so try to stay out of it and let it go.

  That dream you have of being an artist or an architect.....keep trying. Trust me, just because you don't "get what you want," doesn't mean great things and happiness won't be the end result.

  Never stop trying to find love.....you really do find it in many different forms ....Oh, and try not to smoke. Trust me...smoking IS your worst "mistake".

See you in 44 years and, I LOVE YOU!

 

Let it Snow...

They say Texas is really a whole country in of itself.
I'm not just saying it because I'm a born and breed Texas girl...it's true. All of it!

I googled, "How many countries in the world could fit in Texas?". I didn't get an actual answer to my question. However, it did pop up with the statement that 8.5 Ireland's would fit. There also was mention on several pages that ALL the people in the whole wide world could fit in the great state of Texas.

We are a proud state of people. As I said earlier I was born in Texas. South Texas, to be exact. I was born in the most southern portion of Texas where in the middle of summer you could walk across the river because it's so dry. Where the summers are hot and the winters are just a swift blow bye. I'll just say this. We only knew winter was upon us when I was a kid because of the snow birds pulling their trailers into town. When we would ride our bikes wearing shorts during Christmas break and notice the trailer park was full...we knew it must be winter.

I know it must have been cold at some point of the year when I was a kid. I have a picture of my Paupau holding a snow ball in his bare hand standing in his front yard to prove it. Although he was wearing a short sleeve shirt. I also have the permanent scar on my backside from the gas heater in the hall. I used to ride my tricycle in my grandparents house when I was three....yes, I know "spoiled" ....just a bit. I paid the price though. As I was saying, I have a scar on my backside.

I also don't remember it being too hot either. Sure it was 100+ on a gorgeous summer day but we didn't seem to need the air condition much back then. We didn't even have an air condition until I was in Junior High. That's right America....we didn't have air condition and didn't even know it!

I remember standing up in class every morning and starting our day each and everyone of us reciting the pledge of allegiance in unison, the entire school while one of our lucky school mates led us over the intercom. It didn't matter if it was zero or 120 degrees outside. If your name was picked to lead the pledge you were on cloud nine! I don't know of one single student in my generation of education that ever whimped out and said I can't go lead the pledge today because its too cold or too hot outside and the office is so far on the other side of the campus! I bet they would today IF they said the pledge that is.

I remember as the last days of sixth grade came to an end being so excited about the next school year and moving onto Junior High. One of the special things about it was some of the classes had air conditioning. It was the Big Time! Turned out very few classes had air conditioning. The band room did and the gym did. I don't remember any other classes where we didn't have the windows open and fans blowing almost daily....those were the days.

These days kids get sent home if the air condition doesn't work for more than an hour at school. They simply call it off and declare it a crisis! Pathetic...Even more pathetic are the "adults"who act like the world is going to end just because of a little ice or snow....geesh! Whatever happened to common sense? I guess that got replaced by air conditioning too.

I think it may actually be the core of some of the rotten apples today. That's right I said air condition may be the cause of lost manners, bad attitudes, selfishness and ......don't even get me started.

Maybe, if everyone still had to tough it out together totally oblivious to the amazing technology of comfort called air condition, who knows....? Maybe, we would be talking more about the amazing new generation of kids growing up to be thinkers, explorers and creators of things we've only dreamed. Instead we have the X-generation and a whole generation of kids who believe it's "cool" to where their pants so low their own parents are ashamed to acknowledge them in public. At least I would be. Then we have the it's "hot" to wear ridiculously expensive shoes at the age of six and I'm such a proud parent. Good Grief!

I told you...don't get me started.

Honestly though.....wasn't it better when it didn't matter if it was 100+ or if it was 20 degrees outside. WE reveled in the great unknown and spent endless hours playing make believe and discovering who we wanted to be. WE went to school to learn and couldn't wait our turn to be the future leaders of this great state of Texas and the world! ......So, let is snow!

I just finished my celebratory bag of Double Stuff Oreos I bought Wednesday after finding out some happy news. It's taken me 3 and a half days with a little help from Alan.

Right before I started to dunk that final luscious wonder of joy into my ice cold milk, (it's the proper way and only way to eat an O-R-E-O), a thought flashed through my mind.

Yes, I know sometimes it's a quick trip through...but, if your lucky you may get lost.

As I was saying....the thought of how on earth is anyone ever suppose to ban anything so delicious from ever landing on their taste buds. It's pure JOY I tell you!

I started thinking about all the other fantastic combinations I enjoy:

*Peanut Butter and Jelly - I prefer just to delicately balance a mixture in a bowl and eat it without bread...me like it very much. I also like the other kind of Peanut Butter and Jelly time....uh hum.
*Hot Cocoa and Marshmallows - It's funny I HATE marshmallows solo. Peeps are the worst ...Ack! But Hot Cocoa without Marshmallows just isn't as wonderful.
*Bologna and Mustard - It's the only sandwich of any sort I can eat with Mustard instead of mayo.
*Mayo and Tuna - It's just gross trying to eat Tuna solo or heaven forbid with mustard.....Yuck!
*Iced Tea with Sweet n Low - I know it's not good for you especially the "real foodies" but, sugar just doesn't taste the same and Tea without sweetener is just bland to me.
*Movies and Popcorn - I actually can't stand popcorn. Even the smell of popcorn makes me want to leave. I blame it on my first son...LOL. When I was pregnant with Matthew, popcorn and I had an intimate relationship. I LOVED you so.....so much that I would crave it often and not just any popcorn but, the REAL movie theater popcorn. Yep! Authentic or it just didn't taste right.
*Birthday Cake and Ice Cream - Yes, you can eat one without the other but I bet hands down that we all agree Birthday Cake is so much better with Ice Cream.
*Coffee and Cigarettes - No worries ...I gave the smokes up almost 2 years ago but, I have to say when I drink that first cup in the morning I feel like something is missing. I'm also glad it's not my lungs. :-)

Then there are those combo sayings and rhetoric:

*We are like Peas and Carrots - I've never been sure what it means except that perhaps the two are more easier eaten together.....?? Really?? I don't think so.
*Shits and Giggles - I get this one but, hope it never happens to me for real. If it ever does it better be because I saw or heard something REALLY funny and not just because I no longer have control over my bowels. Yes, I said that.
*Cherries with Sugar on top - It sounds cute coming from a toddlers mouth. I am also certain that out there somewhere there is an adult themed dance duo on a pole together or a porn film with this title as well. Yikes!

My point is....we are curious creatures to say the least. Everything in moderation isn't just a good thing to say. It's a good thing to do. Enjoying life and it's pleasures man made or not are what life is all about. I think it's much healthier to do things that are perhaps indulgent in moderation than to just be so dang boring all the time. Eat your milk and cookies first one day before dinner dang it! Have a Hot Fudge Sundae for breakfast once a year. If your only intake is nuts, grains and fiber your never going to be able to experience the rest of the world cause you are going to be too busy in the bathroom. The world does not have a pause button. Take a bite and enjoy how delicious it can really be.

"Got'a get that...Got'a get that....Got'a get that that that that Boom Boom BOOM!"

Don't you just love the way a song get's in your head? The ones you wake up with are the best aren't they?
Gosh, someone should really do some research and find out why every single person on this planet has this phenomenon...don't you wanna know why?

"I like big BUTTS....and I can not lie!"

Yeah, that one holds a special place in my heart. It's fun and energetic but definetly not what you want to have repeating in your thought process over and over again while sitting across from your boss in the boardroom. Yep! That's happened. Not a pretty sight.

Scientists say this phenom is caused by Earworms. Yuck!
Oh dont' worry...they aren't "real" worms wriggling in your head . They are cognitive brain itches that wriggle and are screaming to be let out!!!

"You are so beautiful.....to me,"  :-)

I'm not quite sure why it seems you can be singing a song on your way to your car. Get into the car. Turn on the radio and, "You are so beautiful ....to me" is amazingly there. It must be magic. Surely we can't all have the same coincidences. Can we?

I love music. I love it so much that I am that person who is jamming out singing from the top of my lungs ....."Underneath my clothes....there's an endless story," .....while you are driving by me.

I'm the person who's "getting jiggy with it....Na na na na na na NA!" at the stop sign.

I"m the one singing the anthem, "now wheres your picket fence love....and where's that shiney car...did it ever get you far...".

So, take heed my fellow earworm phenoms.
I promise not to text while driving. I promise not to cut you off. Well....at least not on purpose. I promise not to drive under the speed limit in the LEFT LANE!

"Move bitch.....get out the way....oh...get out the way...."

"Raise you hand in the air... like you just don't care,"

Well...allright. I'll keep at least one hand on the wheel. Just remember, we are all in this big world we call home together and we all want to come home at the end of the day. So, when someone drives by and looks at you funny...."Just keep swimming....just keep swimming."

Music lyrics from: Little Mermaid Soundtrack - Shakira - Black Eyed Peas - All American Rejects - Ludacris - Outkast - MC Hammer - Joe Cocker - Will Smith ....not in order of appearance.

January 24, 1986.

I woke up at 5am that morning. Ready to go!

Lucy was making her morning coffee and getting ready to get ready for work. Stephanie,Helen and Alex laid quietly sleeping on make shift colchones on the sala floor. The nights sleeping together like that are dearly missed. We knew we were family and we had the greatest love.

I walked into the kitchen and told Lucy I think it's time quietly trying not to wake the little ones.
She smiled and proceeded to wake up Jay. It was early in so many ways. A little over 2 weeks to go still according to the clinica's calculations.

We scurried about and got into that tiny little Honda Civic 2 door hatch back and off we went.

We were speeding of course. The clinic was in Harlingen and that was at least a thirty minute drive. I was hanging on and anxious. I had done this before just 13 months prior so it wasn't the event that scared me but the fact that it came so soon and with what seemed not a moment to waste. As we sped down the dark highway with no one else in sight Jay said, " Hope no cops are around". My reply of course was, " If there is you better not stop until we get there". Then we saw the lights.

We pulled over reluctantly and before the officer got to the drivers side of the car I'm sure he knew something was awry. It only took a moment and the officer said, " follow me there". It was so exciting.
With each bump I knew it was getting close. We finally reached our destination just in time for our newest adventure to begin.The officer went inside to get help and when the kind Nuns came to the car I felt a sense of relief.

They wheeled me inside and into a room. As they began to take my vitals I told each person as they went in and out of the room that it was time. They each calmly told me, " Don't worry my child. It is too early for this to be the day. This sometimes happens and you think it is time but we assure you it's not". Bullshit!

Jay was assured and told to go on back to Brownsville and go to work. They were going to give me something to relax and allow me to sleep. How can you argue with Nuns?

As the final person entered my room I pleaded with her, " Please check me...Please". So she did.
"It's TIME !!!! " she said. At last someone believed me. She begged me not to push and to wait until she could get someone back in the room with her but it was way too late for that. A few quick blinding moments and one wonderful gorgeous cry.

There he was. Dimples so pronounced and eyes so blue. Hardly any hair but it was there. He was here.

His dad said the moment he got into his truck to make his deliveries that day he received a call over the radio telling him to head in. He knew he had missed it.

We had chosen not to know what sex the baby was going to be as we did with all our kids. We had picked out the name Madison Lane. He wasn't a girl though. So, we took a few extra days to figure it out. I finally opened the Bible and there it was.
Matthew - God's Gift. Perfect!

Happy Birthday Teo! I love you so.

I love driving my car.

I realize over the years I've always disliked being a passenger. You give up something when you take the seat without the wheel. I know it's not conservative, budget minded or realistic for everyone to be the driver but, oh how I love the wheel.

I learned how to drive when I was very young. My dad and PauPau would sometimes put me in their laps as they were driving around town. Remember that?

They built my cousins and I a 3 wheel go cart when I was 5. My grandparents had a huge gravel circle drive way that was the size of a basketball court. It had an extension to it that was an elongated circle where the local butane delivery truck driver would park his truck at night. So, we had lots of private racing area. We only had one go cart but, we would time each other and celebrate the fastest laps. We also celebrated the spills, fish tales,donuts,roll overs and, of course the burns and scabs.

We spent many days on that red home made go cart. We would play some sort of contest or game at night before we went to sleep and the winner would get to drive first in the morning.

We wouldn't always race. Sometimes we would take turns driving and ride together. Two could sit in the seat and one would hold on for dear life while sitting on the box that covered the engine. Oh, how I remember holding on to the back of the seat anticipating the turn and laughing hysterically as I slid off the back of that beautiful machine. Sure I cried when I landed hard but the glory of the scab was worth it!

When I was 10 my little brother who was 5 got a real store bought 2 seater go cart. We spent so many hours driving that thing around the elementary school yard all day. I would even sometimes make us sack lunches so we wouldn't have to go home for lunch. We of course still had to take bathroom breaks but we kept our liquid intake to a minimum. Ha!

My first real experience driving a car was when I was 11. My dad surprised me one day and allowed me to take the car and drive it around the school parking lot and, park it in our drive way. He allowed me to do this for a whole month every weekend. I'm not sure why he did this but, I liked it.

Not so long after, my mother took me with her on one of her outings. By the end of the day she was unable to drive us home. I knew my dad would be getting home from work soon and, wondering where we were. So, I drove us. Sure I was a little scared but I was confident I could do it and I did.

Unfortunately, this secret wasn't the last.

The last time I went on an outing with my mother as a kid I was still only 12. My little brother went with us as well. My mom gave us plenty of quarters to keep us busy playing pinball, pool, music on the jukebox and, we had our own tab at the bar to order cokes and, of course, all the peanuts you could eat. My mom came along and said we were going somewhere else. She drove us to a little car stop hotel. You know the old ones where people sometimes live in as well. She parked the car in the back lot just outside the window of one of the rooms. She left the keys in the ignition so we could listen to music. She went inside and I didn't see her again for hours. Luckily, I had asked for a drink to go and a cup of peanuts before we left the bar. My brother was tired and, it was hot in the car so the coke and peanuts didn't last long. Eventually, my little brother had to use the bathroom. I did too. I decided we should go knock on the door.

Knock ...knock.
Some man opened the door but I don't remember what he looked like. For some reason I only focused in on what seemed like a gazillion bottle caps danging on some sort of string across the room. Some of these strings were joined together to make curious chimes.

The man asked what we wanted and I told him my brother and I needed to use the bathroom. I heard my mothers laugh and her voice saying to let us in. She showed us the bathroom and we did our business. Once we finished she scurried us out the door and told us to wait in the car again. So,we did.

My brother got thirsty again so, I decided to knock on the door again and ask for a drink.

Knock...knock.

The man opened the door and I asked for my mother. He said she was gone. Gone? I asked him for a drink of water for my brother and, he shooed me out the door. Gone?

It was getting late and, soon would be dark. My brother was crying, thirsty and, my mother was Gone? What else was I suppose to do. So, I drove us home.

I got home before my dad did from work but, when he got home he of course asked where mom was. When he realized I had driven us home he of course knew something was wrong. He put my brother and I in the car and, asked me to tell him where we had gone. As we were driving down the road I saw my mom in the passenger seat of a truck go by us. Look there she is! We made a fast U-turn and began to catch up to the truck. The truck began to speed away and, the race was on. We winded in and out and in and out of so many streets and, alleys before I knew it, I had no idea where we were. I remember my heart pounding so fast I was amazed I could barely hold on to the arm rest of the passenger door when we would take a turn. The truck whipped so far ahead of us it made a U-turn and, a huge plume of dust went through the air. The truck went off the road into the gravel on the wrong side of the road facing us as we came up to it. My dad parked in front of it so close the bumpers kissed.

My dad rushed to the passenger door of the truck and began yelling. I closed my ears and held my brother tight.

My dad came back to the car alone and, we didn't see my mom for a long time.

In fact she didn't return for a whole year.

The next time I drove was when I was 14 and a half. I had a wonderful freshman year at school. Made lots of friends but, as most teenagers didn't quite feel like I fit in. My dad's boss went out of town for awhile and left the company car with my dad. It was a Nova. My dad didn't like driving it much. Not sure why but, he would leave it parked across the street in the elementary school parking lot across from the house.

Oh, that beautiful Nova.

One afternoon my friend asked me to go over to her house to listen to some music and hang out. It was going to be dark soon and my dad was still at work. He was working late. I didn't have many rules as a kid but, on a school night I had to be at the house before dark. I really wanted to go. So.....that beautiful Nova.

I remember the blood racing through my veins and, my eyes widening as I drove that Nova.

I only visited with Annalisa for a few moments. I knew I had to be home before dad.

I remember panicking a bit when I was parking the car. Trying to remember exactly how everything was before I moved it. Should I move it a bit over to the other side of the line or center it more? Was the stick shift left in the middle or in gear? Calm down. No one saw you. Did they!..?

Dad came home and my heart was pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears. He never knew the difference.

My little secret.

Hiccups a  funny word.
It is a funny and irritating condition too wouldn't you agree?
I actually enjoy them to some extent. They make me giggle and feel alive.The consensus is the hiccup is caused by spasms of the diaphragm. No one seems to have a scientific explanation for why they begin or what purpose they serve. I guess it is just one of the vast things we aren't meant to understand.

I also enjoy the sneeze.
Another funny word. Sometimes irritating too.
Several possible origins are commonly given. The common blessing after a sneeze is another thing.
It is believed that "bless you" may have started during the plague. The Pope enacted the term when one would sneeze to protect those from the plague in Rome. This continued as different plagues occurred and was then passed down generation to generation. At the time, sneezing was thought to be an early symptom of the plague. "God bless you!" became a common effort to halt the disease.

Another says that we used to believe that sneezing opened your body to invasion by evil spirits or the devil or that sneezing was your body's effort to force out an invading evil spirit. Thus, "bless you" or "God bless you" is used as a sort of shield against evil.

Alternatively, it may be possible that the phrase began simply as a response for an event that was not well understood at the time.

Also not understood is the Deja vu.
Scientists have no real quantified explanation for this either. Speculations range over 40 or more reasons of origin. Scientifically it is believed again a spasm this time in our brain causes a flash lapse in memory. So fast that you experience the moment and then your body processes the memory so fast that when your conscience acknowledges it you believe you have already been there or done that before. When in fact, they want us to believe, you have actually passed out for a brief second only coming to during the conscience event.
What? Exactly.

I, believe it is a fork in the road. We have been there before and we have been given a second chance to do it right this time. Maybe, it isn't the actual event but what follows, or the result of our action that we are getting the second chance to do. Bottom line is.. it is a blessing. I believe.

I have experienced Deja vu all my life. First really freaky time was when I was about four. My mother was learning to drive and her friend would sometimes take her out on country roads to learn and get comfortable. We drove past an old two story white house with tall angled pitch roofing. The house sat too far off the road to see any detail and we didn't stop but, I had a vision as clear today as it was that particular day. In a window on a wooden counter sat a white porcelain keg on a pedestal. It had some painting on it and it was pretty. I call it a keg because it had a whole in the front and sat on it's side on the pedestal as if it was suppose to have something flow from it. The painting on it was maroon and had flowers and pedals. Dainty and oh so pretty.

My mom continued on down the road.

I asked my mom if she saw it and tried to explain how pretty it was. She told me I was silly and to quit distracting her while she learned how to drive. I continued playing on the floor board in the back seat. That's right no seat belts. Life was easy back then wasn't it?

A couple of year's later I came home from school one day and my mom had some new things sitting on the table. Mom liked to go to garage and estate sales. It was frugal fun and an opportunity to chat with new people.

My mom began to show me the pretty little things she had found that day. There it was. The porcelain keg. I told her it was beautiful and asked her if she had gotten anything else from the big white house. She looked at me funny and asked what white house? I told her you know...the one we drove by. She said she never remembered driving by the house and why if we only drove by would I think the porcelain keg was from that house. I told her because I had seen it there. She laughed it off and told me witches are born good and to never allow the darkness in my heart. She was playing of course. I laughed and she tickled me and that was the end of it. She did admit it was from the white house.

There have been many instances of Deja vu in my life. Sometimes it may be a bit alarming. I have learned just in the past few years to accept them and pay attention when they occur. I truly try to make the best of them.

My most worrisome Deja vu are the conversation ones. I have literally been waiting for table at a restaurant and, while waiting to be seated I've witnessed an entire portion of the conversation that would soon take place word for word. You don't really grasp it's happening until the conversation begins in real time. It's a little unnerving to say the least especially when you know one of the participants is lying or being less than truthful. I almost want to preempt the next word but, it usually just stuns me and gives me bad feelings about the rest of the day.

One time along time ago. My kids dad, his brother and I were watching the Cowboys game on TV at home in our little trailer. I forget ironically why I had gotten upset but, as the two of them jumped up and down yelling in great excitement because they believed they had just one a bet as the Cowboys scored the touchdown while, embarking upon a come from behind win to add to the glory of the moment. I interrupted their moment. I clear as day told them both they were forgetting something. I saw it the moment they began to leave their seats and make such a ruckus. The extra point. They still needed the extra point to win the money and the game.They laughed and continued to celebrate. Moments later, the kick....and.....it's a miss! Really.

Needless to say another argument ensued and to this day when someone crosses me and the two of them are there they joke about that day. Sometimes they tell the story themselves to throw me off there radar I think. It is the funniest thing to see two grown men completely dumbfounded.

I've never tried to harness this for anything. I simply accept it for what it is. A fork in the road. I think we all have Dejavu just some of us are more open to it and try to use it in a positive way.

Dejavu to me is the opportunity to do something over. Take another turn. Make another choice. Each time it will get you a little farther down the path you were meant to take. Once you finally get all the choices made the right way,you are content and happy so maybe you move on to another place. Perhaps it's heaven.

I also believe while we continue to make this circle we almost always seek and come into contact with the same people. Perhaps different skin but, you've done it...haven't you? Met someone you are certain you've known before or had so much in common with, felt so at ease with you must have met them in the past. Sometimes you hear the expression that person has an old soul. Well, I believe they may indeed be on their final journey.

I believe some of us know when we are going to move on. We may not always really grasp it but, have you ever seen a sunrise or sunset and been just so taken by it, overwhelmed inside that if you could go that moment you would. Perhaps you did once upon a time.

My DD and PauPau have both left this place and moved on. Their son, my dad, had the pleasure of speaking with each one of them their final day. He says my PauPau said he saw a Dove in his room and it was singing. He says my DD said she could see white birds flying.They each died many years apart from each other.

When I was three or so my mother gave birth to my first little brother. He died soon after. I was too young they decided so they didn't tell me. I stayed with my grandparents DD and PauPau while my mother healed. I knew even though it wasn't told to me. Kids know something is wrong no matter how hard you try as a parent to hide it ....they know. I remember feeling sad yet calm when I heard the Morning Dove coo.

Later, in life my PauPau told me they were called Morning Doves because they only cooed in the morning. I usually hear them when I need comforting. My DD suggested to me once maybe the Morning Doves were angels. I've continued to find comfort in the coo of the Morning Dove and always think of my DD and PauPaw.

A couple of weeks ago Alan and I were driving out the drive way and  a Dove flew across our path. I asked Alan if he thought it was a Morning Dove? He immediately replied, " Morning Doves only come out in the morning...don't they?". I think it was an angel...My heart filled with thoughts of my DD, PauPaw and my mom.

Whether its the hiccups causing you to repeat or a Dejavu, take what you can from it.
Somethings are not meant to be explained but experienced. Don't worry about counting your blessings just be thankful and enjoy the ride. Be kind to one another.

I've always told my children. No matter how many miles or how much time there is between us I will always be with you. Look inside.

Resolutions

Did you make any New Year's resolutions?

Well, one of my resolutions was to start this blog. Check.
The second was to post something everyday at least one short paragraph. Screwed the pooch on that! LOL I missed yesterday. I'm sure I didn't cause any mass riots out there because they missed my blog...hmm.

So, resolutions...

They say most people make them and don't continue doing them beyond January. Heck! Some don't make it past the 3rd day...uh hum. I'm sure the most common resolutions are; I'm going to stop smoking, stop gambling, stop drinking sodas, stop eating sugar, stop eating bread, stop being lazy.
While these are all good ideas the word "stop" in front of them when someone speaks sure sounds negative. Doesn't it?

I've watched, listened and even made resolutions in the past the same way. I'm going to "stop" this and "quit" that. "Quit" is probably even more of a negative. For those of us who are born determined to win "quitting" is not something our souls do very well.

You know that old adage, sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me....?

Not true.

Words can be very powerful. The United States Constitution is a great example. How many lives are effected by those words? The Bible, the Bill of Rights, the Ten Commandments just for a few more huge accumulations of some little old words.

We choose to believe in certain words verbal and written. I believe it's because we need to belong to something bigger than just ourselves so we are grounded and won't float off into the air full of ourselves so to speak. In many cases it's because we want direction or have goals of which we find a common denominator in words with others and it reconfirms our beliefs. Of course, there are also the words of law which most would agree are needed so we may maintain a certain sense of life without chaos or riot....hmm.

Then there are also words we hear or read which we are truly effected by but, have no choice on how they initially impact us when we first hear or read them.You do not have a choice on the initial impact on your heart and soul or the feeling you have when you hear it or say it. Not the initial reaction. These words must be directed to you to effect you but, it proves words have power and can hurt or heal even.
Here are a few:
"No"
"You are ugly"
"You are dumb"
"I hate you"
"Stupid"
"Cancer"

You can choose to disregard or even not to react to the initial impact and feeling but none the less you felt it.

Negative begets negative. These words although may be necessary in some small conditions but, they do nothing but make one feel bad initially.

I wrote today's post in two parts. First part I began writing earlier this morning. I was short for time and I decided to pause and return to it when I got back home.

When I was in the waiting room today I took the first seat that looked unclaimed and had some space around it. We all need a little space every now and then. Beside me was a little table and on it was this small tiny pocket book. It caught my eye and I began to read it. I was in a little rush with things so I wasn't able to read it all right then so I brought it home with me. The title of the book if you can call it that is "Total Release Performance" by Wes Neal.

For the record I do not read books. I have never taken to the idea of spending time reading when I could be out doing something physical. My limitations on the subject are school and the occasional article in a magazine that caught my eye in the grocer line. I have definitely never read the Bible. I don't have the patience yet. Sometimes on flights I give in and read the two magazines. You know the two always stuffed in the seat pocket in front of you no matter what plane you are on. You know, the one describing either where you just came from or where you are going and, the other one with all those gadgets and gizmo's you are convinced you need when you finish reading it.

So I read this little book. In the beginning it is mostly about athletes thoughts and performance. It claims to be able to raise your level of success and performance if you read and implement the words. As I read on it began to coincide with this post I started writing this morning before I could have ever imagined I would see this little book. I don't want to ruin this little gem for anyone therefor I will share just a tiny bit.
It basis the premise of true winners want to win all the time even when their opponent is probably going to defeat them. They don't quit! It goes on to reference some scripture of the Bible. "And whatever you do in the word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father" (Colossians 3:17).

"And whatever you do in the word ...". Eureka! ..hmm.

Here are my favorite words.
" I love you".
I think these are the most powerful little three words in all the world. We all yearn for them. Most importantly is when the right person says them or leaves them in a letter to you those three little words are so very wonderful.

So, resolutions....

My third resolution is to make sure every person I love knows it.

"All you need is love" Written by John Lennon and credited to Lennon / McCartney.

I hope I don't quit....hmm.

Ha-ap-pee Day!

I sat the alarm last night for 6am so I could get ready and pick up my present today!
I was looking forward to the arrival so much I was up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep!
I couldn't wait to hold it, squeeze it and see what it looked like!
It's Christmas!

Your probably going ...what? Hello Donna, Christmas was a couple of weeks ago.

Nope! You are all wrong.

Christmas doesn't really have a specific date.
Actually, technically it is highly unlikely Jesus was born on December 25.

Read on :

Was Jesus born on December 25, or in December at all? Although it’s not impossible, it seems unlikely. The Bible does not specify a date or month. One problem with December is that it would be unusual for shepherds to be “abiding in the field” at this cold time of year when fields were unproductive. The normal practice was to keep the flocks in the fields from Spring to Autumn. Also, winter would likely be an especially difficult time for pregnant Mary to travel the long distance from Nazareth to Bethlehem (70 miles).

“A more probable time would be late September, the time of the annual Feast of Tabernacles, when such travel was commonly accepted. Thus, it is rather commonly believed (though not certain) that Jesus’ birth was around the last of September. The conception of Christ, however, may have taken place in late December of the previous year. Our Christmas celebration may well be recognized as an honored observation of the incarnation of ‘the Word made flesh’ (John 1:14).”

“…The probability is that this mighty angel, leading the heavenly host in their praises, was Michael the archangel; this occasion was later commemorated by the early church as Michaelmas (‘Michael sent’), on September 29, the same as the date of the Jewish Feast of Tabernacles. It would have at least been appropriate for Christ to have been born on such a date, for it was at His birth that ‘the Word was made flesh and dwelt (literally tabernacled) among us’ (John 1:14).
This would mean, then, that His conception took place in late December. Thus, it might well be that when we today celebrate Christ’s birth at what we call Christmas (i.e., ‘Christ sent’), we are actually celebrating His miraculous conception, the time when the Father sent the Son into the world, in the virgin’s womb. This darkest time of the year—the time of the pagan Saturnalia, and the time when the sun (the physical ‘light of the world’) is at its greatest distance from the Holy Land—would surely be an appropriate time for God to send the spiritual ‘light of the world’ into the world as the ‘Savior, which is Christ the Lord’ (Luke 2:11)”

[Dr. Henry M. Morris, The Defender’s Study Bible (notes for Luke 2:8,13)].

Interesting huh.

So, as I was saying today January 03, 2010 is Christmas!

Don't believe me?
I can prove it.

Do you remember that wonderful anticipation you had as a kid Christmas Eve? Of course you do.
Do you remember that overwhelming, exhilarating,  blow your mind can't wait to open the present feeling you had as a kid? Of course you do.
Do you remember saying all your prayers not once, not twice but three times followed by pretty pretty please with sugar on top? Of course you do

Come on...fess up. Even the toughest out there can't deny it. Can you?

Well, I did all of the above last night.

So, there... today is Christmas!

Just as Jesus was born, I really believe Christmas is a blessing given to us from God himself.

I have had many Christmas's not actually land on December 25th.
December 22, 198X
January 24, 198X
August 05, 198X
July 03, 199X
May 09, 2009
and today---January 03, 2011 DA-DA!

My present you ask?
Well, it's not something I can hold and squeeze too long without some terrible repercussions..or should I say percussionist.
Sometimes it doesn't shave.
Sometimes it cuts it's hair too short.
It likes to wear sandals all year long. Thank goodness it doesn't wear socks with them too!
It loves me even though I'm not so easy to love sometimes.
Sometimes it's weird but, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I am so ha-ap-pee you are home my wonderful gorgeous handsome man friend and husband.

Um....so what did you bring me?   LOL JK

Merry Christmas!

Work tomorrow.
Two more days and I begin the journey I don't want to take but must.
I've gone back and forth on rather not I should write about this in my blog. I decided to because it's the whole point right? Sharing things. After all even the most darkest of our days have some portion of  building who we are as people right? It's definitely not always bright.

One of the songs my mom used to sing, "I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden"....

I think of her a lot lately. Funny,odd, when she passed away July 5, 2009 I hardly cried. In fact, I didn't even get to see her.I was in Canyon and couldn't get a flight out. Closest airport was Amarillo and trust me its a 5 dollar town. Besides I didn't think she was really that sick honestly.She was only 60. I can't tell you how many countless calls I'd get from her saying she was going in for this procedure or that only to have her call me the next day and be just fine. Even the doctors and nurses on July 4, 2009 told me over the phone not to worry she was not in any "real" trouble. I got the first call at 5am from my Dad. They were long since divorced and he was only sending messages from my brother who I don't directly speak to unless its urgent. Then I called my brother and he said she wasn't dead it was a mistake......pretty sick mistake. I think it was around 8am when I got the second call saying it was for real this time. She was cremated. There was turmoil in the family so no point in having a ceremony....it's sad. I love my mom.

When I was little she was the stars and the moon to me. I hope she knew.

...."along with the sunshine there's gotta be a little rain sometime."

So, now my journey the next few days, weeks and beyond for some time will take me into the world which is new to me but unfortunately, well known by countless women, men and children.

I have Cancer.

To what degree I do not know for sure until they operate. All counts are it will be relatively quick and easy. Short and sweet. My doctor at MDA is the best of the best. Waited 3 months for her so she better be. She's very petite but has a grip of a Marine. Gives me comfort since she'll be cutting my neck and throat open. The left lobe of my thyroid and my isthmus will be removed. One of the tumors has attached itself to the wall of my carotid and the other to my larynx. Like I said she has a grip of a Marine.

I will begin another round of tests and treatments this Wednesday prior to the surgery next Monday January 10, 2011. What fun.

I'm lucky?

Though my Cancer - yes, my Cancer....it is in my possession IT does not own me...it is suppose to be very curable with a 85% longevity of life rate.

My heart breaks every time I go to MDA. Halls are filled with people and there are those who have everything to be mad or angry about. Very angry but, they aren't. They don't show it. I'm sure they have their moments. Crying, breaking down, loss of hope and forgetting about the future.

Summer vacation? What is that when you don't even know if you will see next week or tomorrow. From the oldest to the young not a one seems to be giving up. Then there are the children, some of them babies. They don't even know why really they are there? Why is it them? What is it like to not be sick? You would think those would be the ones who would break my heart the most...wouldn't you?

The truth is the youngest are the ones who give me the most courage of all.
Those little hands, fingers, feet, toes and precious sparkling eyes with the wide smiles. Every chance they get they laugh, play, smile, sing. They are angels on earth. I will never ever feel sorry for myself knowing that we are blessed with those darling angels here on earth.

Cancer is not fair. It doesn't discriminate. It's a parasite. It's a thief. It doesn't offer a choice to you.

My prayers have always been to thank the Lord for what he has given. Thank the Lord for allowing me to be part of 4 beautiful lives. Thank the Lord for entrusting me with the care and teaching of those 4 lives. He had much more confidence in me than I ever did. I've always asked him to guide them and hold them in his arms when they need him. He has never forsaken me.

Now and forever my prayers will include every single little child that has been stricken with Cancer and every young woman and man who may never be able to dance their first dance, kiss their first kiss, love their first love. I will always be thankful for what I have had and every single day I have coming to me.

Cancer is not fair. It doesn't discriminate. It's a parasite. It's a thief. It doesn't offer a choice to you.

Or does it?

The truth about this thing is we have no control of when it comes or how it comes into our bodies or our lives but, along with everything it seems to take away it gives us choice. It gives us  choice. Even the smallest of those darling little angels have it. They choose to disregard the pain and Cancer they choose to love, laugh and smile every chance, every moment they find a reason to. They are the happiest people in the whole world.

I am lucky?

("Rose Garden" by Lynn Anderson)

Good Morning Sunshine !
I realize if you don't know me well or at all then the title of this blog is ...what? LOL
So, I'm going to give you some insight :-)

My early childhood was the greatest!
Every weekend my mom, dad and I would go visit with my grandparents - DD and PauPau. They were the greatest! I guess you could say I was a little spoiled. In my defense though it wasn't my fault. I was a good kid, very inquisitive, not afraid of much during the daytime and, oh did I like to push the limits.
I think I"m lucky in the sense I can remember way back. Back to when I was just 3 years old actually pretty vividly.
On with the story....
I had a slight lisp or verbal infraction as a child. I couldn't sound some letters of the alphabet correctly. Again, not my fault God made me this way. I also enjoyed the sound of certain words so much it filled me with giggles and extreme joy. Actually, it still happens today. One of my favorite words is Shankupottomus - awe, pure joy.
Well, when I was 3 my DD and my mom were cooking Sunday supper. Chicken and dumplings mmmm!
I was helping of course and playing with the chicken floating in the sink when the yucky package stuck inside came out. Eww! I immediately asked what it was and my mom told me it was innards and gizzards. I of course thought the words were hilarious and couldn't possibly be real words. After many explanations and the famous why why whys of a 3 year old, my DD finally told me it was the Chicken Butt. Well why didn't they just say that in the beginning! LOL
From that day on when my DD wanted to tell me something that she thought I needed to really know it was preceded with "Guess what? Chicken Butt" and not only did I know she loved me but to this day it brings me joy.
I've since found occasionally as an adult other Chicken Butt kids. People who with there own stories on how the phrase "Guess what? Chicken Butt" entered into their lives, usually by someone really dear to them.
I've made sure each of my children as well as  other children I know and love have the "Guess what? Chicken Butt" love too.
Thank you DD.

So...it's 11:42pm January 01, 2011 and I am having trouble sleeping. I've been piddling around on Facebook. I'm still not sure if it's a God send or the Devils work. JK
Insomnia : Sleeplessness <- is that a word?..ha ha!
Is it because of illness or just old age sneaking up on me?
Troublesome since the first reason is prevalent these days.
A little over a year from now I was so healthy and full of life I ran 3 to 5 miles a day AND did cardio and Tai Chi for 2 hours a day! For months now it is all I can do to make it through the day with the basic essentials, shower, food, work.
Enjoying the better days with friends and family is who I am....not this.
So, today/tonight I ride the downward portion of the roller coaster but I will end it with wonderful memories and thoughts of the year 2010 we leave behind.
2010
Alan and I watched our little girl Mercedes graduate from high school.
   She's not a little girl anymore. I know but, she will always be my baby.
   I came home from work one day after Mercedes moved out (she's back home now)...anyways,
   Alan met me at the door as usual but he was sad and sullen. I asked what was wrong and he
   said he missed our little girl. God I love this man! He is such a wonderful beautiful man!
My BFF Sarah was made a grandma for the first time and her eldest son was married.
  JLynn is adorable and healthy and her grandmas happiness is so wonderful. It makes me happy.
My dad came to visit for Mercy's graduation.
  We (Alan and me) took him to Independence LA, to see his sister for the final time.
My daughter Stephanie got engaged to Treavor Bell. Hallelujah!
   Our family from the valley and all of our friends gathered to celebrate the engagement with Steph.
Alan and I made wonderful friendships with our F-Dock buddies at the marina.
   We went on the Harvest Moon Regatta - didn't quite make it to Port Aransas but, we did it with some      great friends!
We spent days of spring and summer on the water with family and friends.
Alan just enjoyed an adventure assisting S/V Storyville on a Gulf Crossing to Key West FL.
I wish I would've been there making that mooring ball....................I was.

So, lots to be thankful for. Off to bed now.....If only I had won the lottery.....I sorta did :-)
Thank you God for all you have done and allowed me to be a part of somehow.

So it begins....how cliche' I know. I am going to keep it simple. After all, simple is the best way right? Thought about doing this for a while now. I have some great friends who keep a blog mostly about sailing and their adventures. Their blogs I must say have given me a push.

I plan - actually, I really don't plan much. I'm more of a "in the moment" kind of girl. I seem to enjoy spur of the moment and spontaneous adventures over the planning. That's just one reason Alan is my soul mate. He is my rock. He keeps me planted. He is the soil in my pot that makes my flowers bloom so I can enjoy it when the bee's come to visit me without breaking my petals...wow. LOL

Anyways...enjoying the ride that is life. Inhaling the laughter, love and all the wonders with family and friends. Learning to let go of whatever holds you back and just do it! That's what I want to write about.

So let's go!